3 Things They Don't Tell You About Your Season of Singleness
Recently I wrote a blog post about enjoying your season of singleness and embracing the wait. I believe that this season IS something that you should enjoy, but I also want to be realistic and tell you the truth. Your season of singleness is not all smiles and giggles. It can get really hard, especially when your season starts to last longer than expected.
It's so easy to go hard in your season of singleness when you think that you'll only be in this season for six months to a year. It's harder however, once a year, or two passes and you realize that the end is nowhere near. It's easy to become bored or lonely, and to give into temptation because you're vulnerable. I want to add that when I talk about a season of singleness, I am also including the decision to be celibate until marriage.
Because I want this blog to be real, open, and honest, I am sharing with you the three things nobody told me about my season of singleness:
1. Your desire for a relationship/partner doesn’t just go away once you embrace your season of singleness
One of the biggest things that I've had to learn during this time is that just because I commit to being single doesn't mean I'm going to want to be. My desire to be in a relationship didn't just go away once I embraced my season of singleness. In fact, it might have strengthened it. Sometimes you have to accept the fact that you might be lonely. The biggest advice I have for you is that it's better to be lonely now than to end up in the wrong relationship with the wrong person.
2. Eventually you have to stop running from your truth & your “why”
The second thing that no one told me about my season of singleness is that it's pointless if you don't have a reason for doing it. If you've been single by force because you just haven't really met anyone worth your time, you're not exactly going through your season of singleness. This season is a choice and there is always a reason. Once you discover that reason, you will be able to experience true growth. Eventually, you have to stop running from your truth and take the time to uncover your "why". Your "why" might be that you've been hurt in the past and you want to give yourself enough time to truly heal before you get into another relationship. Your "why" might be that you've never truly learned how to love yourself so you want to take time to do that before you love another person. Whatever your "why" is, figure it out!
3. Falling back into old habits is easier than you think
The third, and probably most important, thing that no one told me about this season was that falling back into old habits is easier than you think - WAY EASIER! If you are in your season of singleness for spiritual reasons, it REQUIRES constant and consistent fellowship with God. You cannot do this on your own. There will be times when you feel lonely and set aside, and you need to be able to go to God and allow Him to be your friend, your comforter, and your peace. If you don't, you will look for comfort and companionship from whoever comes around. If you are like I was, and you jump into relationships just because someone shows you a little attention or because you crave intimacy, this is the perfect time to break that cycle.
So those are the three things that no one told me about my season of singleness. I have been purposely single for almost eight months now and I can honestly say that it's been one of the most eye opening experiences. I have grown so much, not only as a woman, but also as a child of God. This season has afforded me many opportunities to be used by God that I never would have expected.
If you are interested in beginning your season of singleness, click here to read about how you can enjoy it and embrace the wait!